Hope all is well for you this evening. For this week, first work with the aversion as I described last night in sitting reflection meditation time and in real time when faced with the object of one's aversion.
Sitting meditation: choosing a time to reflect on the object of aversion
1) After settling into the body and bringing awareness to the sensations of breathing. Set the intention and decide to bring up the object of aversion. If some negative interaction took place recently, bring that up to. Feel the body and how it reacts to this aversion being brought to mind. Do not get caught up in the story.Just observe and acknowledge without judgement towards oneself about being aversive. This is extra and unneccessary suffering. Notice the emotions that come up in relation to this aversion and how the emotion may feed the aversion.
2) Try to list any good qualities or good perspectives to this incident and object of aversion. There are always two sides to a story and two sides to a coin as the saying goes. (this aligns with the moving towards metta as an antidote to this aversion)
3) Employ the acronym RAIN. Recognize the aversion is present as was done in 1), and now A accept, that the aversion is here with all its unpleasant manifestations. Do not get caught up and buy into what the mind is telling us that will move us away from this work. Then I, investigate. Which is also part of 1) above, feeling the aversion in the body, emotions arising and mind and what it likes to tell us to keep us caught in emotion.
4) N for Non-Identification. We are not the aversion. Remind ourselves that like any other empty phenomena (from my Six Sense Spheres Talks Parts 1 and 2) aversion is an energy that moves through us by arising and passing. It is impermanent.
Working with Aversion in Real Time:
1) When we know that we are going to be meeting with our object of aversion, we can set the intention to be kind and respectful and exercise Patience under Insult if necessary. For the full explanation on how this work, check out and listen to my talk on Khanti or Patience as one of the 10 Paramis.
2) Take a few deep breaths and take 1-2 minutes alone if able to do so and pay some attention to the breath to ground ourselves.
3) In the RAIN, during Real Time, it's best to only start out working with R, recognition following the same sequence of steps for this as in the Sitting Reflection above. And A Accept. The Investigation piece can happen after the interaction when we reflect back on how it went and felt in the body and what emotions came up and N can be practiced either in Real Time or later in Sitting Reflection.
Moving towards the metta piece, please listen to my talk once it gets posted online which should be soon. The metta practice needs to happen after we have experienced some successes with working and practicing with the aversion first.
Thanks for your attention and happy practice,
with metta, Pauletta